Working mom

I am a working mother, it really sucks some days. Today is one of them.

Parker had his Thanksgiving Feast and program at school today and I had to miss it due to my job's 'rules' for Holiday Pay. I already come in later (and work later) on Wednesdays so I can take him to school. The rule is you have to work 8 hours the day before a holiday (or take a paid vacation day) to get the holiday pay. Leaving for 2 and a half hours for his program would have cut me short.

I have been so upset by having to miss this. I tried to make other arrangements but to no avail. Parker's step-mom Jen asked if I would be ok if she went for his program and offered to take pictures and send to me. I told her that would be great.

This was a very hard thing for me to do. It has always been difficult to share my child with her. I will admit I'm insecure, having moments of being afraid he will 'choose' her over me, think she is the better or more fun 'mommy' or the one who is there for him more than I am. I know, this is childish. It's just not easy to share your child. But...today I swallowed my pride and felt a little gratitude for her being able to be there so he at least has one parent there. The bottom line is him and what is best for him.

I know working is a necessity and some days I am ok with it. I just hate feeling like I miss out on so much of their lives. I missed their first steps. Classroom parties and field trips. And as they grow there will be more. I do try to do what I can but there is always something that will be missed.

I also wanted to share his art project from school. His turkey says "I am thankful for" and each feather says dad, mom, little brother, God, step mom and step dad. What I love the most about this is he said God. Mark and I make efforts to take him to church and involve him in church activities, and we pray before meals. Parker's prayers usually include something about "showing people the path to You." It makes my heart smile so big that our efforts have an impact on him.

I am so blessed to have this little boy. I am thankful to God He entrusted me to be a mommy to these gifts He blessed me with.